


sink in the river the lessons i learned

by makemelovely



Category: Hart of Dixie
Genre: 4+1 Things, 5+1 Things, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Pining, fluff at the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-24
Updated: 2017-09-24
Packaged: 2018-12-22 18:45:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11973414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/makemelovely/pseuds/makemelovely
Summary: four times Lemon bit her tongue and the one time she didn't.





	sink in the river the lessons i learned

**i.**   _"George Tucker I'd give up anything for you."_

And I did, Lemon doesn't say but she almost does. Her eyes stray to Lavon who's grinning happily with Wade, his eyes soft and happy in a way that Lemon hasn't seen for a long, long time. He hadn't looked at her like that since she'd broken his poor heart while breaking her own. It wasn't that she didn't love Lavon, which she was proud to say that the ache she had long since identified as love hadn't popped up as much around Lavon, it was that she'd never known any man like she'd known George. It was wrong to say but he was her safety net.

Her stomach twists unpleasantly as she unwinds her arms from George's neck and pulls away. Her takes a step back and she breathes in, fingers wrapping around her wrist. She can feel her pulse, thudding steadily against her fingers. She feels cold all of a sudden and George isn't helping. His bright blue eyes are shining and glistening with love. It feels like a cage and usually she'd welcome the steel bars that accompany them but now they are suffocating. George is kind and Lemon thinks that is his biggest appeal. That he loves her more and more everyday and maybe she loves him like that too. Like there aren't any restrictions, that her love can grow more everyday and that someday it'll be bigger than her. It makes her throat feel tight and her skin itch. It feels like her hair is on fire and her bones are shifting. It is entirely unpleasant but Lemon puts on a smile and forces her eyes to shine at him. George is perfect for her. He doesn't make her feel like Lavon did but maybe it's better. Maybe it is.

 **ii.**   _"Why couldn't you let me be happy with her?"_

"Because-" I love you. Lemon cuts herself off before those words leave her mouth and she can't help the ache in her heart. She doesn't want to tell him like this. When he's in love with another woman and he doesn't belong to her anymore. He's looking at her with wet eyes and a desperate plea that he probably doesn't know he's emitting. Lemon's always been able to read him. Or maybe she just used to be able to read him and now she can't speak his language anymore.

Lemon looks away and continues her sentence. She can't look him in the eye and lie. Not again. "I guess I just," Lemon murmurs. "I wanted to punish her for the way she treated me in high school." Lemon lies to him, her eyes averted and her voice hushed.

"That's what I thought." Lavon tells her and Lemon can't help the blinding pain searing through her stomach. He thought she was that petty? He thought she did all that to spite Ruby Jeffries? It stings that this is what Lavon thinks of her. Lemon can hardly bring herself to look at him but she manages. Her sight is blurry with tears but she can see him. Lemon thinks that maybe she'll always be able to see him.

"Just stay out of my way for now." Lavon says, his tone weary and his words angry. It hurts that he doesn't seem to care about her tears or the hurt in her heart. Is he still the same Lavon if he doesn't love her? Lemon thinks the answer is no.

He leaves and the tears start to fall. If he doesn't care about her then how can she love him? Maybe that's what love is. Lemon brushes the tears away but she doesn't go back to the party. Instead she goes home, feeling like her heart is still on the ground but it isn't beating. Not anymore. Perhaps not ever.

 **iii.**   _"I never know what you want."_

You, Lemon doesn't say. I just want you.

Lemon gathers her things--candle included--and presses her binder to her chest. She's managed to keep most of her tears at bay. "It was a pleasure servin' you, Mr. Mayor." Lemon holds her hand out for a hand shake and she manages not to sink into him when his hand wraps around hers. He's warm and his hand surpasses her by a lot but it's gentle and soft. You would never be able to tell by looking at him but he's a big softie. He's so full of love that it makes Lemon's teeth ache sometimes. "Congratulations on your victory." Lemon manages to get the words past her lips but it tastes bitter and wrong. It tastes like regrets and words she never said but she'd always remember. Lemon thinks maybe she doesn't deserve to say them. Maybe she doesn't deserve happiness. It feels like it.

Lavon looks puzzled and Lemon wants to sweep his confusion away and tell him everything but she doesn't. Instead, she walks away. Every step away from him makes her heart twinge with flashes pain. She doesn't look back even though she wants to. She doesn't think she could bear it if he wasn't watching her go. Maybe it's a good thing she doesn't look back. After all, one girl did it and she turned to salt. Lemon imagines it'd be better that way though because then she wouldn't have to know the pain of Lavon Hayes not loving her anymore. It'd be worth it.

**iv.** _"Making you all what?"_

Lavon steps closer, his eyes searching hers. Making me all confused, Lemon wants to answer. She can feel his body heat and if she leaned in any closer she'd surely be able to kiss him. Kiss him while George is sittin' over in the dining area. The thought is a splash of cold water down her spine and Lemon pulls back. Her heart is pounding in her throat and she spins on her heel, disappearing into the ladies room without looking back. Even though she wants to. Oh, how she wants to.

The door hangs up and against her better judgement Lemon closes it, meeting Lavon's eyes. He looks hurt and relieved and weary all at once. He wants her too, Lemon knows this. It thrills her and it shouldn't. It's terrible and lovely all at once. No, it's terrible. The answer should be obvious. It's not though and that confuses Lemon more than anything.

Lemon just wants to take his face in her hands and kiss him breathless. She just wants him to feel like the room is spinning and he's out of control, just like he makes her feel. With George everything is neat, placed in their boxes nice and tidy. She's in control and everything is nice. It's good but not great. Things with Lavon are great. Or they were great. Lavon made her breathless just by looking at her and when he kissed her all the oxygen in the world disappeared. The earth tilts off its axis when he kisses her and the world burns. No things with Lavon had been more than great. It had been everything. It hurts that it's over. But it's for the best. Right?

 **v.**   _"I love you."_

"I love you too." Lemon murmurs against his chest. She had woken up to Lavon's voice, soft and sleepy but warm with affection. He had told her he loved when he though she was asleep. Cute but a tad rude if Lemon was being honest. She wanted to remember his first 'I love you' to her.

He jolted, looking down at her with wide eyes. "I didn't know you were awake." He muttered sheepishly, suddenly wide awake.

"I love you too." Lemon repeated, kissing the spot where his heart was.

"I love you more." Lavon teased, hugging her closer.

"Not possible." Lemon retorted, snuggling deeper into his side. She closed her eyes and contently fell back asleep. Everything was all right.


End file.
